DP's reflections have always had this problem, and yes it'd be cool if it got fixed.
Regarding the lighting, I think you're a lot better off looking at mapping tutorials for Quake, Quake3 and Half-Life 2 for tips on getting better lighting. It's more a tweaking issue on the mapping side than an engine issue. Also try asking for help on more mapper-centric forums regarding this.
It looks like the example pic of what you're after has a penumbra on the shadow, which I don't know if any Quake or Quake3 compilers support. It seems to also have light radiation/bouncing (whatever you want to call it), which is a more common feature. You should also consider activating more blur on the compile stage, your lightmaps look very jagged.
Also, if I'm not entirely mistaken, your screenshots look a lot like you're using 16bit rendering, which greatly reduces the image quality also.