Deep inside Fort Bundy in a briefing room....
Bundy looks at the other members of the strike force. "Ok, for tonights Op, we will infiltrate the enemies position, capture the flag and bring it back. Any questions?"
Q-Rex looks around and then speaks. "Yeah, B, how are we gonna stay awake? We've all been up for three days now. How do you do it?"
Bundy smiles. "Ok, I will tell you. Heartburn. Yes, a good case of heartburn will keep you a wake for a long time, everyone knows that. I have just learned to use it to my tactical advantage. Not only am I awake, but I am mean, too. Pour some of that chile back there into a bag of fritos. Here, put some of this tobasco sauce in there with it".
"Hey, Bundy, this Sh- I mean this stuff is cold," The Sentinel says."I mean, can we at least melt some of the da- darned grease? Sorry, Bundy. I know this is a PG site. I am really f - er ahh trying to keep it clean."
"Thanks, Sent. I appreciate it. Lets hold off on the geedunk 'til we get done with the briefing, ok? And by the way, did you ever RTV the connections in your suit? Can't have your anatomy showing tonight. But first, Flynx can you get out your medkit and whack Moriarty a few times? He has some awful looking bruises on him. What the heck happened to you, Moriarty? Did you walk through a threshing machine or something? BAHAHHAHAHA!!"
"Gee, thanks, Bundy. Go ahead and laugh if you want to, but I have been doing manly stuff. I have been getting my arse kicked playing paint ball!"
"Yeah, I saw your update. Sounds like a lot of fun to me, too"
WHACKA-WHACKA-WHACKA!!!
"Ouch! Enough with that axe, Flynx! Enough already!"
About this time, Ranksmellin' comes into the briefing room. "Bundy, we have someone coming. They are near the moat now!"
"Yeah, I saw them on the remote sensors. Come on in, we are just finishing up here. I know you smelled the food. I know what brought you..."
Bundy knows that Rank can't stand MRE's. Not that it stops him from eating them, though. Bundy chuckles. That boy can really mess up a tactical radio link when he goes to chewing crunchy stuff. Good thing he can snipe...
Bundy lowers the drawbridge and pays the pizza guy. The pizza guy slowly backs away carefully, looking around like he thought something was going to bite him.
"Ok, boys, pizza's on me. Sent, how about leaving the peanut butter sandos alone, eh? Get some of this pizza instead. Hey, Rank, get out of those Frosted Mini Wheats. They are for later!" That boy sure likes to eat...
Q-Rex takes a look at the pizza. "Yo, B. Stuff's cold. Here let me warm it up." Q-Rex unlimbers his flame thrower and aims it at the pizza boxes.
"Wait, Q. Isn't that the flame thrower you modified to make the sticky flames?"
"Yeah, Bundy. Don't worry, I got all the bugs worked out of it now."
"WAIT! Don't do--"
'WHOOOOOSH! WHOOOOOOSH! CRACKLE-CRACKLE WHOOOOSH!
"Man, look at what you have done now! You got the whole place burning. If you burn down Fort Bundy, I am gonna personally give you third eyes until you go back to Death Match!
Bundy looks around and sees that it is hopeless. "Ok, everyone out! The Halon system will go off any minute now. OUT-OUT-OUT!!! GO-GO-GO!!!! Muster by the draw bridge. Sentinel, be careful near the water until we can path up that suit."
About this time, a soft white mist starts falling from the ceiling in the briefing room. Halon is an oxygen displacing agent and will put out a fire in no time flat. Or is that a New York minute? Whatever. It works great, not only for fires, but it will take out intruders very nicely, too. But Bundy is very upset now.
"Q-REX! Do you know how hard it is to get Halon now that the EPA has banned it?. You know if the EPA doesn't like it, it is something you just gotta have! Now I have to go find some slimeball third-world arms merchant to refill that thing. Halon is even harder to get than freon for your old car's air conditioner, and you know how hard that is!"
"Gee, Bundy. I thought you would like the pizza warmed up. I use this thing all the time to heat up my beans with it. I guess I must have used too much, huh?"
"Bundy.... Bundy.... Put that down. Bundy....No, Bundy.... N-O-O-O-O-O-O!!!!!!"
CLICK. The sound of a .308 caliber 168 grain Siera Matchking HPBT being chambered is a beautiful sound. But not tonight. Not for Q-Rex anyway...
But wait! Where is RankSmellin'? "HEAD COUNT! NOW!!!!", Bundy yells.
Where is Rank? Where is The Sentinel? Bundy hurries around to the other side of Fort Bundy. There he finds Rank and Sent finishing off the pizza.
Go figure.