Can't Poop?

[MadGypsy]

eat a bag of and drink a quart of

It's like a super yummy laxative that works in one epic doodoo explosion. I'm not kidding, I speak from experience that I gained not even 5 minutes ago. And Imma tell ya' - I feel great.

[badaim]

ROFL... I'm gonna tell ya though, a hard night of drinking does it for me just fine. It always causes for liquid shits in the morning.


I like your style though! GG

[MadGypsy]

I'm gonna tell ya though, a hard night of drinking does it for me just fine. It always causes for liquid shits in the morning.

I feel ya' but this works in about an hour and only happens 1 (huge) time. It is also much cheaper than a night of drinking (about 4$) and has only one side effect - a completely empty colon.

--

Your friend can't poop, they call you up feeling all crappy and desperate for you to know a trick that can help. Do you bring him to the bar, get him drunk and tell him when he wakes up he can have hangover shits OR do you bring him powdered donuts and chocolate milk?

Buy two of each and enjoy one of those deep colon cleansers with him/her. It could be a bonding experience. Don't worry if there is only one bathroom, when it decides to "activate" it's gonna take about 4 seconds to wipe you out. Just finish the donuts and milk a minute behind your buddy.

Note: DO NOT TRY TO HOLD IT IN! YOU WILL FAIL...BIG TIME!

---

On a serious side note, I never eat this garbage which is probably why my body rejected it so forcefully (especially the chocolate glue..er I mean milk)

[wicked_lord]

Depends on your body.. I drink a chocolate milk daily and sometimes ill have either a cinnamon bun, powder donuts, jelly swirl or a honey bun, i have never felt an explosion or shits from any of those mixes. It just does not agree with your stomach.

[Todd Fairfield]

...we were in bed.

my girlfriend was at the moment then said "squirt in me like a big stallion" but was unaware i just had creamed corn and hawaiian punch...

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OXrUSbveSE]Bad Diarrhea Farts - YouTube[/ame]

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIZU_NZRfjA[/ame]

[wicked_lord]

Just stopped to take a poop, all ive had was Mcdonalds big breakfast without hotcakes, and a minutemaid apple juice. Might try that combo?

[MadGypsy]

It just does not agree with your stomach.

This needs clarification though. At no point (until the moment of truth) was there anything wrong with my stomach. I was sitting here after enjoying my gluttonous amount of tasty treats, just minding my business and fiddling with some QC, when all of a sudden I heard the sound. You know the sound. It comes from your ejection tubes and it sounds something like:

squirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

That sound was followed by an immediate sense of desperation to haul-ass in full clinch to the restroom. So yes, my body does not like chemistry set food, BUT there was no stomach anything.

I will say that I intend to turn this into a diet plan and market it after 3am on stations no one ever watches. However, I will not make any money if I tell people the "formula", so I intend to buy lots of powdered donuts and chocolate milk, moosh it all together and bottle it. I even have a product name:

Gooshsquirt Smoothie - made with real hersheys

[KillPixel]

It took me ten years of trial and error to be healthy...then I discovered the correlation between blood type and what is and what isn't good for your body.

If you're a type O, it's very likely wheat and dairy will give you the shits (among other things).

Eat Right For Your Type :: The Official Blood Type Diet Site

[wicked_lord]

Im O negative, does it matter whether its positive or negative?

Also made. Real hersheys when borden uses powdered chocolate they make themselves. Ive been drinking borden milk since i was a kid. And if you meant for it to be a joke, i got that as well

[monoz]

tosh.0 - eat 2 bananas and drink a quart of sprite

[bluntz]

Wow,you guys really know your shit!!

[wicked_lord]

Wow,you guys really know your shit!!

Once upon a time i was a kid

[Mindf!3ldzX]

tosh.0 - eat 2 bananas and drink a quart of sprite

Mono deserves beer.

[Todd Fairfield]

...ever had a stool stop up a friends toilet?

chronic constipation can lead to a bad date or even losing a client because your mind is on blockage!

i think i'll go LOG OUT!

[A VERY unoriginal name]

Just the title made me giggle. But then I saw what your suggestions were...
Let's just say my soda isn't living in my cup anymore.