Can't Poop?

[MadGypsy]

i think i'll go LOG OUT!

ba-dump tsss



---

Oh right, BTW there are side effects. When I woke up my stomach felt *blech* all day and dropping a deuce felt more like my body was scraping my insides for something to get rid of. I think the moral of the story is:

Chocolate milk and powdered donuts are not intended for human consumption. I don't know what they are intended for, but apparently eating them can have explosive doo doo results, with lingering *blech*.

However, I feel fine now and I'm pretty sure it is safe to assume that my colon is sparkling clean.

[wicked_lord]

Takin a poop helps weight loss. Eating powdered donuts and drinking chocolate milk gives you this epic explosion. Question: why are some cops extremely fat? Makes sense right. Not all cops eat glazed or creme filled donuts and drink coffee.

[MadGypsy]

Honestly, I exist primarily on animals that myself or someone I know recently murdered and lots of vegetables.

When I put that other garbage in me, I think my body was like "WTF is maltodextrisucralosaminacide!" and immediately ejected everything in my system, in order to make damn sure that it got that crap out.

I can't eat almost anything you buy in a store unless it is freshly dead or pure vegetation.

Pizza pockets, tv dinners - I ain't gonna make a real list. Think of anything else that is like the first garbage in this list and I can't happily eat it. Well, I can, but I will either have explosive doo doo or simply feel like crap til it has been passed. I am like the perfect "lab rat". If i can't eat it, it ain't really food.

[Todd Fairfield]

how many of you u have kids?

i dont how many of you have kids and the cant poop topic reminded me of this story.

we had new carpet put in living room and were admiring it and were on our knees when my 1 and half year old came in without his diaper. he had been drinking milk with graham crackers which is a laxative for him. he let loose a deuce and i dove nearly 4 feet to get my hand under it before it touched the newly installed cream colored carpet. fuckin barely saved the day.

some of you i have pm know im a pilot as well as a proud parent. so let me share on the topic of tough love.

the world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil but because of the people who don't do anything about it.

most people today think it improper to discipline children, so i have tried other methods to control my kids when they have had one of ??? those moments???.

since i'm a pilot, one that i have found very effective is for me to just take my son for a flight during which I say nothing and give my son the opportunity to reflect on his behavior.

i don't know whether it's the steady vibration from the engines, or just the time away from any distractions such as tv, video games, computer, toys etc.

either way, he usually calms down and stops misbehaving after our flight together.

i believe that eye to eye contact during these sessions is an important element in achieving the desired results.

here's a photo below of one of my flight sessions with my son, in case you would like to use the technique.

[MadGypsy]

LOL! My POOP thread is ?STILL? getting replies....



oh my! Well, I guess he's lucky that you aren't a lion tamer or a member of a firing squad.

You are a funny-ass-dude Todd.

[Todd Fairfield]

type code brown to LOG in

with all the problems in the world this thread needs to "down-load" on a regular basis, so dont "pinch it off."

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIZU_NZRfjA]Dumb and Dumber toilet scene (High Quality) - YouTube[/ame]

[badaim]

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsIASofR5-E]Battle Shits - YouTube[/ame]

[KillPixel]

Honestly, I exist primarily on animals that myself or someone I know recently murdered and lots of vegetables.

When I put that other garbage in me, I think my body was like "WTF is maltodextrisucralosaminacide!" and immediately ejected everything in my system, in order to make damn sure that it got that crap out.

I can't eat almost anything you buy in a store unless it is freshly dead or pure vegetation.

Pizza pockets, tv dinners - I ain't gonna make a real list. Think of anything else that is like the first garbage in this list and I can't happily eat it. Well, I can, but I will either have explosive doo doo or simply feel like crap til it has been passed. I am like the perfect "lab rat". If i can't eat it, it ain't really food.

Same here. Dead animals and plants are my diet. Any "mainstream" processed crap from the store gives me the shits or makes me feel like garbage, usually both.

I was just at the store today and watched a mother with 5 kids unload her shopping cart. Hot pockets, chicken nuggets, chips, cookies, soda, crackers, chef boyardee, hamburger helper... it's crazy people don't even realize that they are poisoning themselves.