You find yourself in E1M1

[Shadowswift]

>inspect key and rune, consider next options

The Silver Key is a small hunk of pure, untarnished silver carefully sculpted with artisan craftsmanship into the shape of a skeleton key. The shape of the key is one so simple, yet the locks they open are impossible to pick open, even by masters. An interesting mystery...

You look at the Rune of Water Magic. It feels cold...colder than normal cold stones...but not an empty kind of cold. Holding it makes you feel......refreshed. Not healed or cured, but oddly invigorated. Almost...clean...
You take a picture of it and catalogue it. You also take a picture of the Rune of Wind Magic. You forgot to do that after Vol-Balgruth was slain. That Protos guy kind of distracted you.

Runes catalogued: 5/25

>make at least one more flashbang

You need (1) Brass Slag and (1) Magnesium Fuse to make another Jury-Rigged Flashbang.

>Go open that slate slab door with no keyhole.

You take your companions back to Hell's Atrium and head through to the exit area. The spike shooter trap that is normally supposed to be here has been deactivated some how...you wonder how that happened? You stop short of the lava pit between the exit vestibule and the larger corridor leading out to the main atrium. You grapple across. SFX floats across. Velen picks up Darkscythe and grapples across afterward. You stab the key into they keyhole. Without even turning it, the door slides open, and the key vanishes...all that work for that damn key, and it vanishes...lame. Before you stands a large circular gateway with a swirling portal inside of it. It must lead to the Nameless City....the City of the Ancients.

>Oh and practice Kaio-Ken...

You set down on the floor and quiet your mind. You focus your body. Quicker than normal, your inner strength roars to life as red fire errupts around you, scorching the ground beneath you. Six seconds....and no pain. You feel very accomplished.

Your skill in Kaio-Ken is now 25/525


>

[MadGypsy]

>go find ray and whoop his ass

>actually just stay where you are and scream this:

"RAAAAAAY! You little ****y. Quit playing hide-n-go seek. You know where we are, you know we are coming for you. You know we are going to find you. So, let's save a bunch of time and get this over with."

>ready your party

[Shadowswift]

>actually just stay where you are and scream this:

"RAAAAAAY! You little ****y. Quit playing hide-n-go seek. You know where we are, you know we are coming for you. You know we are going to find you. So, let's save a bunch of time and get this over with."

You stand up and scream that at the top of your lungs. Your voice reverberates throughout the map, bouncing off of the stone walls and floors.






.......absolutely nothing happens.

>ready your party
>go find ray and whoop his ass

You tell your companions to steel themselves...destiny is at hand.

You jump through the portal.

[Loading...]

Connection interrupted...trying to re-establish link...

You have no hope of victory...

Still trying...

You'll never succeed...

Still trying...

Just give up. Turn around. Go home.

Connection accepted.

You find yourself in E4M8. It's very dark here...and cold, like winter...but there is no wind. SFX turns its light on, opening up the darkness. The floor is made of cobbled stone, the walls and ceiling of ancient brick. There are Shadows here...dozens...scores...hundreds...maybe more. You can hear them...smell them...feel them......sense them. There are more Shadows collected here in this city than in the entire rest of the dimension. To make things worse, The Captain is here, also. You don't have enough ammo to destroy them all, even with all head shots. You'll certainly run out of steam and health before you can destroy them all by any conventional means. You need to devise a method to destroy several of them all at once. What's worse, the portal behind you has a stone barrier over it. You can't go back. You estimate that you are stuck here until you can find the exit...or until you can get your hands on the Reaper's Scythe. You don't feel so good...so what's your first move, broski?


>

[MadGypsy]

>save game in slot 1
>you're pheonix fuckin stockton, make something that can wipe out many at once.

[Shadowswift]

>save game in slot 1

Checksum Error 89006

>you're pheonix fuckin stockton, make something that can wipe out many at once.

Right. You are Phoenix fucking Stockton.

You are Phoenix fucking Stockton.

YOU........are Phoenix fucking Stockton.


...what're ya gonna make, Phoenix?


>

[MadGypsy]

I'm not Pheonix Stockton. I just control him.

>The God Spark Cannon.

Take everything you have and tie/glue/melt it together. Then take a bit of string and loop a portion of it to each trigger, so when you pull the string all the weapons fire simultaneously.

that'll show em.

OR

You could just tell me what Pheonix Stockton would make.

[Shadowswift]

>The God Spark Cannon.

Take everything you have and tie/glue/melt it together. Then take a bit of string and loop a portion of it to each trigger, so when you pull the string all the weapons fire simultaneously.

that'll show em.

OR

You could just tell me what Pheonix Stockton would make.

You examine the frames of the guns you currently have. You go over blueprint after blueprint inside of your head, alas, after factoring in loading, reloading, and unloading, you can't come up with any working method to effectively 'stick' all of your guns together and have them be able to fire with any degree of accuracy. It's a good idea...but it doesn't look good on paper. That, and you can't seem to find a single centimeter of string anywhere in this damned dimension.

What should you build? How the hell should I know? I don't even really exist. I just say funny stuff every now and then while stringing your story together


>

[Syluxguy28O3]

>now would be a good time to practice kaio-ken.

[metchsteekle]

>examine surrounding area

[Shadowswift]

>examine surrounding area

There isn't much of interest here in the immediate area. There are some torch sconces on the far wall...with what look like torn-off human faces sewn together and stretched over them. Nothing else here, except for the portal. It's been closed off by a cross-shaped stone barrier. You can't squeeze through, but maybe SFX can. There are runes at the base of the portal. You don't know what they mean, but you notice that they run in a sequence of eight repeating. You take a picture and catalog them.

Runes cataloged: 12/25

You take note of the large circular portal, the sconces, the runes...this place is a runekeep, like Velen described to you when he was explaining what runestone is. You should expect to find an abundance of runic carvings and runestone here to show Irish. You'll be a Scribe in no time!

>now would be a good time to practice kaio-ken.

You stay standing for this one. If you can keep on your feet and keep Kaio-Ken active, you should be able to use it to really fight pretty soon. You activate the ability, focusing hard on how it strains on your body. Each passing second that the red fire burns around you is like being drawn and quartered slowly. Six seconds come and go. You hold on to it...ouch...eight seconds....dear gods.....ten seconds. You start to lose consciousness. You release the strength. You hurt....badly.

You lose 20 health.
Your skill in Kaio-Ken is now 35/525


>

[Syluxguy28O3]

>use console to save game

[Shadowswift]

>use console to save game

checksum error 89006

...hm.


>

[MadGypsy]

@sylux - I already tried that one, apparently Death Knight isn't going to make it possible to die.

[Syluxguy28O3]

in that case:

>polish your helmet

[Shadowswift]

>polish your helmet

You ignore the dire danger that looms before you as well as any sexual innuendos that could be floating around in your impulses as you shine your combat helmet with the sleeve of your underarmor sweatshirt. Shiny!


>