"I hate it here" (whoever cares), all by Teatime

"I was wrongly accused of cheating ..." (10/19/2001)

Online games (08/12/2001)

New definition for 'newbie' (07/29/2001)

Teatime joins a game (07/15/2001)

Voice Communication (06/11/2001)

What kind of game are these people playing ... ? (05/02/2001)

Sentries in enemy base ... (03/13/2001)

Hey, Mr. TFC Professional (02/26/2001)

Deathmatch (01/262001)

Personal Score is evil (10/17/2000)

Warpath (10/09/2000)

Snipers are dumb bastards! (10/01/2000)

19 October 2001

"I was wrongly accused of cheating ..."

Life is so unfair, isn't it. There you are, having played for a long time, practiced a lot to sharpen your skills and after a long time you finally earning the fruits of your efforts by becoming a pretty good player and then that: Some idiots accuse you of cheating just because your repertoire is a bit larger than the one of Joe Pub and you can perform a few stunts which are pretty impressive.

I can imagine that this is annoying. And I know there are people who carry the word 'cheating' on the tip of their tongues for various reasons.

Some people just can't deal with defeat and because they think they're l33t themselves they expect everybody owning them to be cheating.
Then again the newer players have not yet realized the full capabilities of the engine and the game and what moves are possible. They might have heard of rocketjumps and even c-jumps, but grenade-jumping or double RJ's or CJ's is probably not familiar to them.
But we also have to face the fact that a lot of people are just paranoid by now because they know that cheats exist, perhaps know what kind of cheats exist and maybe have witnessed cheats before.

Cheating has become way too common today. Valve seems unable to get rid of the all-time favorites (like wall-hacks or aim-bots) and with HL being the net's largest gaming platform a lot of cheats developed for one MOD works on others as well.

So if I run into somebody who plays suspiciously well, especially by shooting exceptionally well or by anticipating my moves frequently I will become suspicious as well. Unlike others I would not yell 'cheater' as long as I would not be absolutely sure, but I will always consider the possibility that somebody could cheat.

Innocent until proven guilty, yes! But also a suspect until proven innocent.

So all you l33t players who are annoyed by being accused of cheating: I understand you. But always remember that the major blame lies not with the people who accuse you of cheating but those cheaters who gave them reasons to suspect cheating in the first place. Instead of being angry on the person who mistook your skill for a cheat rather be angry on all those people who create and use cheats in the first place. If no cheats would exist, or systems like PB would cover most or all cheats then you could put off those people crying 'cheat' as idiots. But as it is otherwise - sadly - don't mistake the victim for the culprit.

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12 August 2001

Why is it that most people just see themselves when playing online games? That they care exclusively about their own wishes, feeling free to do whatever they want to?

Is it the lack of the ability to think abstractly? To realize that the other figures in the game are controlled by real people just as yourself, sitting in similar rooms in front of similar computers?
Is it because you think that this is you spending your time to play, so that you are entitled to play any way you want?
Is it that fact that there are no repercussions, no way to force you to comply, no way to hold you accountable?

Whatever it is, the main reason is indeed the isolated nature of playing, the lack of social control and group pressure.

A vast majority of you would show a different attitude, a different way of gaming and a different behaviour towards others in real life. Be it playing multiplayer games on a LAN party, or be it playing completely different games like sportgames or recreational games like cards or dices. And it doesn't even matter much if you'd play such games with strangers or friends, in fact I believe you would show more courtesy towards strangers than to friends.

But to approach online games in a similar way than you would approach a game of any kind in real life is something most people ignore deliberately.
No restrictions in behaviour, no taking care of others, no responsibility of any kind ...

In other words: Most people feel entitled to act like selfish assholes!

And while this attitude is bad enough in any game it's of little consequence in a deathmatch game, but unforgivable in teamgames like TFC.

And before you mistake me for talking about the usual lamers: I'm referring to the TFC-players in general (and I would be surprised if it would be much different in other online games). 9 out of 10 players show this kind of selfish attitude, though in a different degree.

So next time you play TFC just imagine for a second you would not play a virtual game with players far away on a distant server, but a real life CTF game! And then measure everything you do on such a situation ...

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29 July 2001

New definition for 'newbie'...

I guess it's save to define TFC as a game in which the players try to accomplish the map-specific goal with the means of teamwork and communication. Any objections ... ?

Of course I cannot expect from a 'newbie' to understand the map's goal, nor can I expect him to show much teamwork and communication. Which of course leads me to the disillusioning realization that TFC is full of newbies. Heck, there are even many newbies with clan-tags!

So better be prepared ...

- When you choose to play deathmatch in TFC I will call you a 'newbie'.

- When you decide to play another defender while your team has no O I will call you a 'newbie'.

- When you loose the flag and not announce where you have lost the flag I will call you a 'newbie'.

- When you let an enemy attacker pass you without calling out a warning to your D I will call you a 'newbie'.

- When I see you camping in the enemy base for no other reasons than to get kills I will call you a 'newbie', and a 'lamer' as well (and spare me all your cheap excuses).

- When I see you ruling your personal score above anything else I will call you a 'newbie'.

Guess you get the picture.

And don't even try to impress me with your l33t skillz, your ability to perform triple CJ's or your eloquence in strafe jumping, gliding or BH. If you don't play for your team and with your team you are a 'newbie'. A skilled newbie, perhaps, but the more a disgrace for the game.

Oh, I know you don't care ...

That's the main problem, isn't it? You just don't care ...

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15 July 2001

Teatime joins a game ...

Obviously it's a skill in itself, requiring much practice and experience, to determine which team, class and position to play when joining a game. I mean, it must be a very difficult to do, or what is the reason that so many people have problems to make the right choices otherwise?

So I thought I'd describe what I do when I join a game, to help all these people showing underdeveloped skills in that respect to improve themselves :-p

I have no preference in color (I was told some people actually care about their team's color ... so much for mental flexibility) so I usually use autoteam.

If - for whatever reason - I don't use autoteam I will join the losing team unless this would uneven the teams (but then again if I'd see 6 clannies winning highly against 7 'no-names' I would consider to uneven the teams further by joining the 7-player team because they're probably outclassed by the clannies).

Next thing I do is calling the scoreboard to check a few things out:

- Has autoteam put me really in the right team? Or has it put me as 9th player into Blue while Red with 8 people is losing badly? In most cases however there's no need to correct the autoteaming.

- What classes is my team composed of? Usually the classes can tell me a lot of what to expect from my team, and what role might still be required. Are there engineers already? Do we have heavy classes? Do we have any light classes for offense? Depending on what I see I will choose my class. If there's no engineer I will probably go engy (though it could happen I discover my team has a 2Soldier/1HWG defense). If I see a lot of heavy classes and engies, but only a single medic and no scout/spy I will choose an offensive class. Map is warpath or rock2, but my team has no demoman? Could be a useful asset, don't you think? WTH, 4 snipers? Guess I joined the wrong server <g>.

- The teamscore can also help me to interpret the needs of my team. If we are losing we have either a weak D or a weak O. Again the classes already present can give a hint where assistence is needed. If both teams have high scores O is usually good, but D is weak, and/or you have a lot of deathmatcher on the server (depends on the map, though). If both scores are low you will likely find strong D but weak O.

Based on all these informations I will choose first which role I intend to assume: O or D. If the situation is too vague I will probably choose an allround class like soldier and ask if the team needs O or D (but often nobody will care to answer such a question).
When I have chosen a role I will usually try to pick a class complementing those present, not duplicating. If I feel we need D I will not go engy if there's already another engy present. I will rather go soldier or demo, because 2 different classes are harder to attack than 2 people of the same class (different advantages/disadvantages of classes). Same goes for O, where 2 medics might require help from a heavy class, or a spy could be of great assistence. Or on the other hand another medic or scout could be useful, to imply pressure on the enemy D. But again, in most cases I prefer diversity over greater numbers of the same class.
Of course all this requires that a player is familiar with more than one class.

Once I have joined the game I will assume my position. When I'm playing D I will either move through our base to get an idea how our D looks like so far, or I will head directly to a key position (flagroom, choke points) to put up my defensive role there.

All this might sound very complicated and time assuming, yet it is nothing an experienced player would not be able to do in his sleep (at which point reality shows that skill and experiencve are two completely different and independent things :-p) and it takes only a few seconds and a little brainwork.

BUT of course the big precondition is that people are actually interested in teamwork in the first place. Those people caring primarily about their score will chose a class/position they can excel in. Those just looking for 'fun' (and ruling their fun over teamwork) will choose whatever class they might feel like, and be it a crowbaring scout (*). And of course we have those being unable or uncomfortable playing another class than their ususal one and who rather play the 3rd engy, 3rd sniper or 4th soldier than to try something new (this is not necessarily bad teamwork, but it often shows people not realizing the needs of their team).

So maybe some people should rather than practicing c-jumps and bunnyhopping (puke) practice some elementary teamwork principles for a change.

(*) While I completely support that this game should be fun in the first place I also support strongly to have fun in the framework of teamwork. Having fun just for the sake of it while ignoring the teamaspect of the game is rather lame, unless the majority of the other players share this attitude.

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Voice Communication ...

I'm so excited about the new integrated voice communication coming with the next patch. Really ...

I'm looking forward to have to listen to all the crap those physically or mentally 13-years-old feel urged to share with their fellow players. People who brag all the time about their l33t skills, people nagging others about either to recruit or being recruited for clan [XYZ], people swearing and yelling because they can't deal with being on the right side of the death messages. I better get used to the thought that after the next patch snipers won't even have to type to spread their useless credo ("I pwn" when they hit and "lag" when they don't). Welcome to #tfc, where friends will chat away the day while playing. And introducing Radio TFC as well, with everybody's favorite music on the air (Come on, just imagine somebody playing Britney Spears over voice comm ...).

Don't get me wrong, voice communication is a good step into the right directions. I have always promoted to make communication easier for the player. And what's easier and more flexible than voice communication?

Maybe I'm wrong and it will improve gameplay because it becomes easier to exchange information. A good willing sniper would be able to announce the incoming medic without stopping to snipe. If I call 'medic' I can know tell my position. Coordination on O or D could actually work for a change ('I take out the sentry, you go for the flag'). It will offer communication to those who have not yet come around to create messages.

But at least one third of the common pub players are too dumb to play TFC in the first place, why should I expect them to use voice comm in an intelligent way? And is it's worth to listen to the endless nonsense of player ABC just to pick up the occasional useful message? Isn't it more likely that I will spend the first 5 minutes of each game to mute a number of people? Which - BTW - will consequently destroy any useful communication because I have no idea which of my teammates will hear my words and vice versa (plus I know who I've muted, but I don't know who might has muted me).

And of course once voice communication is introduced even less people will bother to use messages. So even parts of that bit of communication which takes place on the pubs will disappear.

Voice communication is a great idea. Sadly it will be just another proof of the general lack of intelligence and maturity of the people.

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02 May 2001

What kind of game are these people playing ... ?

Just to get the off my chest ...

Two days ago I was playing on a server a game on Well. The map before that had been 2mesa3 which had pretty much cleared the server, so we started Well with 2 people on each team. I went defense while my teammate went O. The other team chose to do the same. I don't know how things went in the enemy base. But this l33t enemy demoman decided not to go for our flag, but rather set a pipe trap in front of one of our respawns. Wow, very effective O ... no idea why the word 'lame' crossed my head.

Another player joins the server and the enemy team and a few moments later I can hear the familiar sound of a sentry being built. And sure enough the new arrival had gone engy and tried to set up a sentry outside out base. Welcome to Braindead Central ...

Sure, small games like this are the perfect time to fool around and to have some fun.

But is camping the only way of having fun these assholes know?

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13 March 2001

Sentries in enemy base ...

I don't like them under any circumstances on your standard CTF map (maps like warpath are different animals).

But what really disgusts me are asshole engys who are having their fun by setting up a sentry in the enemy base on servers with few players (like 3 or 4 on each team).

It is not a challenge to sneak into the enemy base and to build a lvl3 sentry in a short time.
These engys like to argue that by setting up a sentry they would distract the enemy D and - depending on the position of the sentry - hinder the enemy O. Yet in most cases I wit-nessed there was obviously no intention to combine these actions with an attack on the flag.
And strangely enough it almost always happen on half-full servers where often there is no effective D to break through AND the own team could have much better use of that particular engy + sentry in their own base.

IMO this often bears too much resemblance to respawn camping or senseless spamming to be justified as a valid tactic.
I would say nine times out of ten the engy in question was just a lamer in disguise.

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26 February 2001

Hey you, Mr. TFC Professional!

I am so glad to hear that when you started the game you approached it professionally and thoroughly.

I heard you did not only read the fucking manual, but you’d studied it (all with marking important passages and learning facts by heart). I was also told that you did not prematurely jumped into any pub game, but you loaded each map in a LAN game and learned the maps and its different ways and locations first.

Evidently you visited several webpages for guides and tips on classes, maps and tactics and got all resulting questions covered on the various forums

So when you finally entered the pubs you had all your homework done, knew the drill and could start to turn theory into practice.

And eventually became the kickass player you are today.

I have to agree that this gives you every right to look down to uninformed newbies, and that it is perfectly valid for you to scoff and ridicule people who dare to enter the game not properly prepared. They don’t do their homework, they don’t deserve any better.

Serious players have no time to lead dumbass newbies by the hand and to play tour guides just because Mr. Newbie was too lazy to to even RTFM

Hey you, Mr. TFC Professional!

j/k, Asshole!

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26 January 2001

What is up with the community?
I jump into a pub game and it becomes quickly painfully clear that whatever is going on is not TFC.
The big majority of the games are nothing more than Deathmatch. In a few cases Deathmatch with flags.

But people don't play along the lines of TFC, they don't take positions, they don't take roles, they usually don't communicate and the only concept of "team" they have is that they have only to fight half the people on the server.
So is it just me or does it look like people substitute TFC for a poor man's DM?

On the other hand we have this lack of proper offense. Unless the map is right or a player is really good going O is a pain in the ass. You have to make your way through all these deathmatching cretins which usually either kills you as light class (you don't get far as heavy class either because you will get involved in fights quickly) or leave you weak enough that you won't get far with the flag.
2fort is the perfect example for that behaviour. Big fights on the bridge and the ramp room, soldiers and HWG's running around, shooting and spamming. Unless you take the water route all the way or cjump into the base you won't get far. But when you get in you will usually find the basement deserted.
Well is a different map in that aspect. Because the outside area is larger the deathmatching is much more spreaded. Easier to get through as O. Of course all these smart wanna-be engineers will cover the entrance or the ramp room with their sentries. But when the water tunnel is open you can usually get the flag very easily, because the flagroom is either empty or defended by a single brave individual.
Rock2 doesn't offer much of a middle field to deathmatch. So people either turtling in their base or - once one team proves to be weak - will rush the enemy base.
Flagrun is just DM as well, but is large enough to offer any motivated O enough routes to do their job (not that this would qualify as overall satisfying gameplay).
IMO Avanti and Dustbowl have become rather unpleasant. Of course these map have DM written all over them, but somehow I don't see the fun in fighting against 3 or 4 engys with their sentries and the rest of the defenders being composed of soldiers, snipers and HWG's. Where does that leave fun and diversity?

Why do all these people play TFC in the first place when they actually play a different game?
And I'm not talking of newbies. I'm talking of people who are obviously experienced, and enough of them having clan tags in their name. Maybe a lot of these people should READ THE FUCKING MANUAL! … I know, it would involve too much brain activity …

We could easily get rid of 70-80 percent of all the TFC-players ("TFC-players" … Ha!!!) without losing a single valuable person.
Don't believe me? Join a random TFC server and take a look which player is actually assuming a proper role and does at least try to work and communicate with his team. If you get a count higher than 4 then you are lucky.

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17 October 2000

Personal Score is evil.

We already had a lot of discussions on the PF-Forums throwing at each other the Pros and Cons of personal score, and some people came up with some good and duplicating reasons about the usefulness of personal score. 

I still think it's evil.

Its disadvantages outweigh by far its advantages. It diverts people from teamwork, it leads to questionable behaviour, it emphasizes personal glory (whose credibility is questionable) in a team game which consequently encourages people to feed their ego with it, it leads to annoying bragging, it does not work for all classes and for many classes in different ways (so it's not comparable), and finally it still encourages too much stupid DM-attitude.

I can see why stats are useful for clan practices or matches, but IMO personal score is a poor tool to measure performance in TFC. And on pubs personal score is not needed at all and has proven to be counter-productive.

So I would rather see personal score removed completely (and clans could still use the tfstats to analyse practices and matches) or at least replaced by a server setting which disables it by default.

Oh yes, people pointed out that probably a lot of players would stop playing when the personal score would be removed. If I could only figure out a polite way to express that I just wouldn't care :-p ... It just proves that people are still stuck in DM-mentality. Like I said: It's evil! 

And I still hope that Valve comes up with something more useful for TF2, which reflects the team-aspects of the game rather than the pathetic kill/death-ratio, with caps to mess it up completely.

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09 October 2000

Warpath …

Love this map. It divides the men from the boys.

Any cretin can play CTF. Don’t believe it? Just check out a random server and you will find a lot of cretins. Playing CTF. Sometimes even with the flag involved.

In those early days the ultimate test was cz2. Revolutionary map. The story was not to steal the enemy flag, but bringing your flags to the capture points and keeping them there until you had all 5 of them. Then do it all over again.

Didn’t work that well most of the times. Too complex. Too many flags and way too many CP’s for your standard TFC’er brain. Don’t know, probably that was the reason why cz2 wasn’t very popular in the first place.

And here comes warpath and makes everything even worse. Okay, they scraped the flags to reduce the required brain capacity of the players, but in exchange they made the CP’s to be captured in sequential order. Pretty sophisticated stuff, if you ask me.

So it’s even more complicated as cz2, but miraculously the crowd likes it. Which doesn’t mean that they understand its dynamics or the strategies involved.

So each time I meet somebody playing it well I freeze in awe for a second (most likely I get killed during this second). Doesn’t happen that often, though. The freezing, I mean, not the killing.

So next time you play warpath and loose 3 times in a row … take a moment to consider that you are probably not ready for that kind of map yet.

Hmm, I wonder what will come next. A “territorial domination”-style TicTacToe? Maybe three-dimensional? Doesn’t matter, as long as it’s still a few inches above the mental horizon of your common TFC-player.

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01 October 2000

Welcome to the first edition of what I intend to be a weekly rant on the Fort.

These will be subjective, politically incorrect and by all means impolite, if necessary. So next time you see this subject line, you know what to expect.

Oh yeah, the line was borrowed from “Transmetropolitan”, an excellent comic book by Warren Ellis. I didn’t ask for permission to use it, but I’m sure if Warren Ellis would play TFC he would concur with this notion :-). 

So here we go. Fasten your seatbelts, Gentlemen (well, the handful female readers might do so as well).

Snipers are dumb bastards! All of them!

There they stand, playing sniper wars with their counterpart on the enemy base and trying to get some kills from the enemies crossing their field of fire.

Sometimes they hit, sometimes they miss. But do you think only one of them would bother to inform their teammates on defense about the incoming enemy? No way, sir. Snipers are above petty communication. Too much consumed by the thrill of the hunt. Why should they care about the enemy probably stealing their team's flag? They still have their kills to be proud of, right?

It doesn’t matter that most of the time a sniper is in the perfect position to spot the enemy’s offensive forces and to warn their teammates, especially about taken alternate routes.

Okay, to make that clear: When all of a sudden 3 enemy offensive players pop up in the flagroom where I try to defend the flag without a word of warning of one of my team’s elite snipers I will blame them for the almost inevitable cap. (The fact that the defensive line-up of my team obviously sucked in the first place is a different story for a different rant).

So either play with your team or go and play HL-deathmatch. The sniper weapon there looks a bit silly, but still should work fine for you. Hey, and it doesn’t even have spies and medics.

Next time better move your lazy butt and remember that your job demands more than just playing “Gotcha” with the enemy and start communicating!